Last night I went to see a band*.
Well, that’s a bit generous – what I actually saw was a lot of people’s backs, a host of phones and cameras waving about in the air and a rip-roaring light show. In the absence of being able to see anything worth looking at I spent some time [...]
I’ve forgotten almost everything from when I was a kid – when, how and why did this happen? I must not have been paying enough attention or something, because I can only remember about a day’s worth of stuff from the first sixteen years of my life. And what made me realise this?
Shameful. Thank goodness [...]
You’re a vampire Michael! My own brother a goddamn, shit-sucking vampire. You wait til mom finds out, buddy.
RIP Corey Haim. I feel bad on behalf of everyone expressing grief at your passing who didn’t give two hoots about what you did when you were alive. Me included. Sorry.
1. Sitting in front of a mirror for an hour
Honestly, if I wanted to make myself puke I’d just stick my fingers down my throat. It’s more humane than making me deconstruct my appearance and all its flaws over the course of an hour, with increasingly ridiculous hair and someone irritatingly good looking flitting in [...]
I’m on a cinema diet. It’s budget-imposed and is particularly difficult as it has come at a time when there’s a ridiculous number of films I’d love to see.
A Single Man – partly because it gives me hope that one day, when I’m wealthy and successful for something else entirely, I’ll be able to turn [...]
So somebody somewhere woke up to the fact that Tobey Maguire is awful and the entire Spiderman franchise has been ruined by his sloppy face and rubbish acting. In the absence of a time machine to go back and wipe the whole unfortunate incident out, they’re just giving it another go by ‘rebooting’ the franchise. [...]
There are 125 rare, unlikely and occasionally brilliant photos of the crazy-famous here. Here are five that make me feel like it’s ok just to be a normal person.
Marilyn Monroe and JFK share a moment – I feel so sad for Marilyn Monroe every time I think about their doomed affair. Just goes to show [...]
Unborn children of mine take note: this is what your future holds.
I’d rather have the Lego version, to be honest.
Waterfall sink – like an infinity pool in your kitchen. Yes please.
As good a motto as any.
Finally, a use for all those old boring books I buy from library sales because they look nice but actually [...]
I’m really irritatingly fussy about books. I have a really specific taste which I’ve never managed to verbalise properly, and can’t help but imagine all kinds of pretentions and arrogances in most novels which probably aren’t even there.
There are just two authors whose books I’ve enjoyed sufficiently to feverishly scan the shelves just in case [...]
Hey, Banksy made a film! Called Exit Through the Gift Shop, he describes it as “the story of how one man set out to film the unfilmable – and failed… It’s a film about a man who tried to make a film about me. Everything in it is true, especially the bits where we [...]