Vampires, lies and videotape
Something’s been troubling me. So, vampires are dead, yeah? Consequently, their hearts don’t beat? And if their hearts don’t beat then their blood doesn’t flow. So how can boy vampires, well, yknow, copulate?
It’s not that I think about vampires and their bedroom activities on a regular basis, it just occurred to me that, despite their reputation as the sluttiest of all the undead, they surely couldn’t physically do the deed.
Unless my rudimentary grasp of GCSE Biology is failing me and I’ve got completely the wrong end of the, er, stick.
*** PLEASE NOTE: I do not wish to sleep with a vampire. The risk of demon spawn is too high. ***
June 2nd, 2010 at 1:49 pm
The answer may possibly lie in comments from Spike in the final episode of Buffy’s fifth season. Namely: “Blood is life, lackbrain. Why do you think we eat it? It’s what keeps you going, makes you warm, makes you hard, makes you other than dead.”
So, Spike would appear to be confirming here that one of the reasons vampires need to consume fresh human blood is so that they, in the words of the latest spam email I read, can “be the 5tud in bed she wants – unleash [their] potential”.
It terrifies me that I had immediate recall of this fact.
June 2nd, 2010 at 1:54 pm
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Kate Solomon, Julian Whitehorn. Julian Whitehorn said: Rigor mortis! RT @katiesol: Blogged: boy vampires in the bedroom – how does it work? SRSLY. http://bit.ly/dhEOhM [...]
June 2nd, 2010 at 1:55 pm
That is a brilliant point – they drink blood. But to keep it flowing to the right place they’d have to drink it non-stop during sex, surely? Sounds dangerous to me.
June 2nd, 2010 at 1:58 pm
Never seen an episode of True Blood…?
June 2nd, 2010 at 2:02 pm
I don’t think that disclaimer is necessary, Kate. We’ve both read the fourth book; we know it’s possible to survive a devil spawn birth.
I’d willingly test your theory, even with the chance of a devil spawn…could give me an opportunity to use the name BETHAROLE or CAROLWYN (not that Jim’s a vampire, mind).
June 2nd, 2010 at 2:06 pm
Er, no. Well, one, but it was a long time ago and the memory is lost in the clouds of my irritation with Rogue from X-Men. Why, what does it reveal about vampire biology?
June 2nd, 2010 at 2:11 pm
Yes but we all know you’re a filth-monger Kat, what with your fluffer connections and whathaveyou. I’m much more innocent.
June 2nd, 2010 at 2:52 pm
You leave my fluffers out of this! :p